This Is What Happened When I Put My Happiness First

These last few years have been utterly mind-blowing for me. So many swift winds have come through so fiercely and so fast that most times I found myself on my ass, a bit battered and bruised. Each time I got up and dusted myself off, I walked away from my ass-whooping a little wiser, softer, and closer to the person I’ve always wanted to be closest to: me.

This is what happens when you realize your happiness is just as important, if not more than the folks you allow in your life. This is what happens when you put yourself first.

Once I started down this road, the effects were undeniable and I realized some very important lessons…

When you put yourself first, some folks around you won’t like it. It makes them uncomfortable and they may begin to lash out. At first, it will be in passive-aggressive ways that make you question what you feel, but give it time. Soon enough, you can easily identify the takers in your life that were masquerading as givers. It’s like they’re the oil and you’re the water; they try to mix but continually separate themselves from you in the most revealing ways. Be prepared, friend; it will knock you on your ass, but then you’ll rise a little wiser, softer, and closer to your true self. This happens when you close a space for something that wasn't good for you and open a door to let in what will be. The lessons associated with this haven’t been easy, but I’m so grateful for all the room that has opened up in my life for folks who not only truly value my friendship but also reciprocate with love and loyalty.

When you put yourself first, some folks around you will fall in love with it, and you. You will naturally become a magnet to souls who want to be around you because you make them feel good. This next part may surprise you, but they will make sure you feel good too. Sounds simple, but you’d be amazed at how difficult that latter part is for some people. Just make sure to soak it in and receive this love. 

When you put yourself first, you begin aligning with your truest self. Two things happen when you live from a place of authenticity, my friend, and that’s growing in confidence and self-love. Right here is why you will attract situations and opportunities that will serve you in the best of ways, and folks who deserve to be in your life. You will have accomplished the very first step in true friendship, love, and abundance: taking responsibility for loving and caring for yourself. Only after you’ve done this for yourself can you do the same for others, and this also allows you to perfect your ‘toxicity meter’, expertly identifying those who will try to sneak into your life for their self-serving purposes. Don’t worry—they’ll stick out like a sore thumb. You just keep on being you.

When you put yourself first, you quit waiting for others to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and you do it for your own damn self. BOOYAH! This is the best part! This one kind of merges with the one above but it’s important enough that it requires its own place. Remember all the times you lifted your friends up? You felt their pain and empathized, sympathized, cried for and with them, and cared for them from a true place of love? Imagine if this kind of care was on repeat for yourself, coupled with a never-ending and infinite supply you could count on at any given moment. Well, it’s your lucky day because when you begin treating yourself with the love and care you give to everyone else, this is your reward!

Listen, this part of the journey isn’t for the weak. There are a lot of eye-openers, jaw-droppers, losses, and heartbreak. When the rosy glasses that once blurred and romanticized the behaviors of those you thought were on your side shatter, you’re left with shards that can cut you. But then you heal, and somewhere in between and along the way the most magical thing happens: you come home to yourself. 

When the pieces you gave away to those unworthy to receive them begin to find their way back to you, the reuniting of all you’ve been waiting for will stand before you: a strong, powerful, and fully healed self.

This is what happens when you put yourself first.