Why So Many of Us Opt Out of Healing
I’ve been journaling a lot lately about the path to healing and it’s been so fascinating that I've decided to start writing about it to all of you. The journey to body/mind/soul wellness isn’t for the weak and I see more than my fair share of folks throw in the towel. Trust me, I’ve considered this many times myself (just yesterday, in fact). Lesson-learning in this life is HARD and the path is usually completely unmarked. However, as is always the case with the Universe, when one is learning a new lesson, it inundates you with mirrored reflections of those lessons in people, books, and, of course, social media. When I’m in the middle of a new shift in perspective, I see it EVERYWHERE. I’m not sure if I saw what I’m sharing below in a Reel, blog post, or some kind of meme but it really hit home for me and now I’m handing it over to you.
So, this post is for you if:
You are a person who knows you’re unhappy with your life and you have a deep desire to change but you hesitate because you don’t know what to expect.
You’ve started on a healing journey and have no idea what the hell is happening.
You’re in the middle of or even in the homestretch of your healing journey and you’re *this* close to throwing in the towel.
So, let’s begin.
While there may not be one standard process for transformation and healing in life, there is a general path I’ve become aware of over time that most folks follow when they begin to get curious about healing and finding happiness. This usually starts with recognizing a lack of joy and happiness in one’s life, which is followed up by a desire to change, which is followed up by figuring out how to change.
That’s where the process begins. If you’ve read this far and it sounds like I’m reading a page from your life, let me briefly walk you through the path of transforming one’s life.
1. We’re born perfect. But then as life rolls on, we begin to build a foundation of who we think we are and who we want to be. Our desires are formulated from the personal foundation we’ve been building since we were born. Brick by brick, this foundation is being filled with all of our own experiences and ideas as well as everyone else’s because we can’t help but be influenced by other people. So, yes, there is hopefully lots of good stuff in our foundations but more than likely there are also bricks of insecurities, other people’s opinions, traumas, self-doubts, judgments, and loads of self-limiting beliefs. Some folks begin to notice a general dissatisfaction with life anywhere from the late 30s into the 50s (plus).
So:
2. We desire to improve ourselves so we can improve our lives. We might take a course in something, start reading books on self-improvement, join a group, meet new and different people, and have conversations we’ve never had before, amongst other things. Not surprisingly, we begin to grow and evolve. Then:
3. We unexpectedly feel worse than ever. This is super disappointing because we can feel that we’re building this amazing foundation under us. One of healing, wisdom, and knowledge. What we didn’t know was that as we begin to heal, we’re simultaneously busting up the foundation that’s been there for a very long time. When that happens, all of those experiences, ideas, doubts, opinions, limiting beliefs, and traumas that we thought were so old they must have gone away on their own start waking up. Unbeknownst to us, as we rise with our new foundation, all of these things rise too and they rise right to the top because they want to be acknowledged and healed. The problem is, it’s really fucking painful. It’s r.e.a.l.l.y. agonizing because, you know, there’s anywhere from 20 to 50 years of a toxic foundation that needs to be reckoned with and we just bulldozed into it with a wrecking ball.
This is where half of us will give up and walk away. We return to the ex, quit searching for a new job or career, and stay where we are. We quit dreaming and return to the relationships and environments we were desperate to escape. But:
4. The other 50% keep going. We begin to search even more deeply for answers and so we might begin therapy, hire a life coach, or seek out some kind of healing experience or mentor to help guide us further into our journey. We feel good about the work because we see the forest for the trees and we see that shiny new foundation creeping in.
But.
There is still so much pain and even though we understand the pain, we’ve put in so much work for what feels like FOREVER and this is so confusing! We’re doing this to feel better so why do we feel so damn awful?? The answer is that we’re picking apart, dissecting, and healing every single pain point that has steered us off of our intended path.
My friend, that takes time.
We’re seeing a bit of light through the tunnel because we feel the change. We’re letting old, harmful habits go and we’re replacing them with new, healthy behaviors and perspectives that serve us so much better. Sadly, another 30% of us will quit here and it’s SUCH a shame because what that 30% doesn’t see is that the foundation they’ve been building is now twice as big and strong as the crappy, mucky foundation that’s been leading our lives for far too long.
But that 20%, well we:
5. Keep moving forward. We know that there is something greater for us on the other side. We feel our best selves and brightest futures are right around the corner waiting for us. We’ve been a witness to our incredible growth and inspiring evolution, and all of the beauty and blessings that have come our way as a result of all of the hard work.
But, if you can believe it, another 5% will drop out right here because rather than seeing all the healing and strength that now quadrupled their beautiful foundation, they only see the trail of pain they’ve endured to get to this point. Don’t get me wrong here; that trail is VAST, and it is PAINFUL. I get it, friends.
But that final 15%…
6. Transforms, heals, and begins living the life they’ve always wanted.
My dear friends, I am in the 15% percent homestretch. Please take it from me that this is all true. This is all real. This is the path and the experience that most of us endure, and if I can give you one bit of advice:
Hang on. Just hang on and don’t give up. If I can do it, you can too. I am no more stronger, smarter, resilient, or evolved than you. You can do this and I promise you I can help.
Be the 15%. Good Goddess you’re worth it.
